The “what if” prayer.

Do you pray with a what if?

As I received a phone call from the hospital with an appointment for my eldest daughter to have her mini op it completely broke me and once again fear set in. I began to pray and really on call on God to see me through and remove fear but just in the moment as I was praying I was doubting!

When I was in my teenage years I constantly pushed the boundaries and always seemed to find myself in a whirlwind of darkness, at times my life seemed so far away from God that I even feared for myself. As I lived my teenage years in and out of church at the age of 20 I decided I couldn’t live with being a just Sunday Christian! I couldn’t live my life Monday to Saturday doing it my way and then turning up on a Sunday with a fake smile and a fake relationship with God. 

In all of my season of darkness and walking away I began to feel a sence of God in my life again I began to read my bible but I could not understand why I felt this way. 
But now I do, it was PRAYER! Not from me but from family and friends I know in my season of darkness that people prayed for me and I know for a fact God heard them because here I am sharing some of my heart and some of my journey. I know things didn’t change overnight as my darkness started around 14 and ended around 21. That’s a long time for people to keep praying and seeing no change and at times seeing things get worse. But God heard every single prayer that was ever said.

I have walked through seasons myself and prayed and prayed and nothing seemed to change but why?

I believe God wants us to believe in our prayers to him. So many times I have prayed a prayer and then as soon as I have finished I have doubted him with a “what if” if we really believe God holds our life in his hands and that he will see us through every trial and testing time why do we pray and doubt? If we pray then doubt how can God really answer our prayers because its like giving someone a letter then as soon as they have it in there hand snatching it back! I want to encourage you today that if you are praying for someone a husband that’s not wanting church, kids that have turned away from God pray without doubt, pray and believe! He will work it through even when we look at it as impossible believe in his power to change hearts and situations, you will not be disappointed even though at times we have felt that way! I am so grateful for all the people who ever prayed for me in my season of darkness I am grateful they prayed prayers and never doubted God even though it looked like things wouldn’t change.

As I continue to press into praying without the “what ifs” I believe it will open a new prayer life for me and I truly believe God will start to work in situations because I am trusting him and giving him my situations fully.  

If I can enourge you today to pray bold prayers even though at times they seem completely unrealistic. Pray them with no fear or doubt! Pray and believe that God has it all covered. Rest in the fact that God is bigger than any situation and he sees our hearts.



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